James Bond puts cats and their nine lives to shame but, of course, everyone's favourite secret agent should really be dead.
Even if he somehow survived the past 50 years, medical professionals have revealed that Bond should have died within just seven minutes of 2012 blockbuster Skyfall, after being shot with a depleted uranium shell.
Further near-death experiences throughout the movie make his already slim chances of survival even smaller, so let's take a look at how Bond would have met his maker in far less forgiving real life.
Bond shot in chest (7 minutes)
Being hit with uranium, commonly used to destroy army tanks, would have “turned his lungs inside out and killed him”, the panel of experts told Total Film. Even if he somehow escaped that grisly fate, fragments of the uranium shell left in his body would “greatly increase his cancer risk”.
Bond falls 80m from a train roof into a river after being shot (12 minutes)
This memorable scene could easily have left Bond with a severed spinal cord or broken neck. Drowning was also a strong possibility.
Bond removes a bullet from his shoulder himself (31 minutes)
Don't try this at home kids. Performing DIY surgery “risks blood loss, lack of consciousness, nerve and muscle damage and the infection risk is huge”. Consider yourself warned.
Grenades at Bond's estate (1hr 54 minutes)
Perforated eardrums from all those climactic explosions and gunfire, at the very least.
Bond fights under icy water (2hrs 2 minutes)
Bond would have exhausted his oxygen supply in no time while battling a henchman in those freezing Scottish waters, making it unlikely that he'd break the surface in time. “Hypothermia would set in very quickly and he’s struggle to move,” the doctors concluded.
Daniel Craig, who played Bond in Skyfall and is reprising the iconic role for Spectre, suffered the consequences of playing an action hero when he sprained his knee on set earlier this month. He has since undergone surgery and hopes to resume shooting at Pinewood Studios later this month.
Sam Mendes' hotly-awaited 007 instalment is due in UK cinemas on 6 November, also starring Christoph Waltz, Lea Seydoux, Monica Bellucci, Ralph Fiennes, Naomie Harris and Ben Whishaw.
Hahahaha make believe is not real life oo
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